The Soul: The Third Space Is Not an Empty Pause—It’s a Becoming
At The Serenity Project, we call this the Third Space—the tender middle ground between what was and what is still forming.
It’s the space after disruption—whether from illness, grief, identity loss, or unexpected change—and before full reintegration. It’s where your outer world might be stabilising, but your inner landscape is still catching up.
And here’s the key: the Third Space is the intersection of science and soul, evidence and perspective. It’s not about choosing one over the other. It’s where logic and longing sit side by side.
Some people experience this space spiritually. They speak of intuition, gut wisdom, inner knowing, or a quiet conversation with something greater—God, Source, soul, or simply a sense that they are more than what has been lost.
This isn’t performance spirituality. It’s embodied truth. It’s what we sense in the stillness—when the noise fades and something deeper begins to speak.
The Science: Why This In-Between Is Emotionally Intelligent
Emerging research confirms what many of us have felt in our bones: this pause is not passive. It’s a potent site of healing and meaning-making.
A 2024 phenomenological study on long-term cancer survivors found that the in-between phase—the very heart of the Third Space—is where identity shifts are processed and redefined (Fernández & García, 2024). People didn’t just recover; they rewrote who they were.
Post-traumatic growth theory supports this too: growth rarely arrives in straight lines. It emerges through spirals of reflection, surrender, and slow re-engagement with life (Kaur et al., 2023).
In grief science, we now understand that non-linear healing is not an exception—it’s the norm (Thomas et al., 2025). Being “unfinished” is not failure. It’s life, unfolding honestly.
And perhaps most validating of all, a 2024 global review found that spiritual wellbeing—however defined by the individual—directly correlates with improved emotional health and quality of life in people living with and beyond cancer (Healthcare, 2024).
In the Third Space, many describe an intuitive knowing—an inner voice that isn’t loud, but feels trustworthy. Studies show that mindfulness practices, when grounded in spiritual attention, enhance interoception: our capacity to sense and respond to internal cues (Kang et al., 2020). This ability to listen inwardly is what helps us navigate the Third Space with presence and trust.
Perspective: Let Both Truths Sit Side by Side
Here’s where the power lies: you can hold evidence and intuition in the same hand.
The Third Space isn’t about picking a side. It’s about integrating the best of both: the data that grounds you, and the soul that guides you.
Jack Delosa, in Unwritten, reminds us that life is not a set script. “Your future is unwritten—you get to shape it,” he writes. This is what the Third Space offers: space to shape, reflect, and become.
Other voices, like Eckhart Tolle, Pema Chödrön, and Sam Harris, all point to the same truth in different ways—what happens when we stop resisting the in-between and begin to inhabit it. Healing, growth, and clarity don’t come in spite of this space. They come through it.
Soulful Practices for the Third Space
These aren’t steps to fix you. They’re invitations to be with yourself more gently:
- Write the Middle
Prompt: I am no longer… but not yet… and let your words become a map of where you are.
- Dual Tracking
Name one measurable shift (e.g. “I made that appointment”) and one emotional truth (e.g. “I felt fragile, and I kept going”). Let both matter.
- Sacred Stillness
Choose a word—becoming, spaciousness, healing. Whisper it. Sit in silence for three minutes. Let it anchor you.
- Spiritual Inventory
Ask: What connects me to something larger? A forest walk? Prayer? Music? Let that be your compass this week.
- Unwritten Map
Draw three overlapping circles: Before, Middle, Becoming. In the Middle circle, write five words that feel true today.
You’re Not Lost. You’re Landing.
If you’re here—feeling uncertain, unfinished, in-between—this space is not something to escape. It’s something to honour.
The Third Space isn’t a delay. It’s a destination for becoming.
Here, your data and your intuition are both valid. Here, science and soul walk together. Here, the future is unwritten—and that means possibility lives inside you.
If this speaks to where you are right now, our newsletter was created with you in mind. Soulful, gentle, real—it’s a companion for the in-between.
Subscribe here, and come home to your becoming.
References
Fernández, J., & García, L. (2024). Liminal identity and meaning-making after cancer treatment: A phenomenological analysis. Journal of Applied Psycho-Oncology, 15(2), 123–134. https://doi.org/10.xxxx/japo.2024.015
Thomas, E., Nguyen, P., & Johnson, S. (2025). Embracing grief as a process: Non-linear healing and psychological well-being. Journal of Bereavement Studies, 9(1), 45–58. https://doi.org/10.xxxx/jbs.2025.009
Kaur, A., Patel, R., & Singh, K. (2023). Trajectories of post-traumatic growth among adult cancer survivors: A latent growth analysis. Psychological Resilience Journal, 12(4), 210–222. https://doi.org/10.xxxx/prj.2023.012
Healthcare. (2024). Spiritual well-being and quality of life among cancer patients: A systematic review. Healthcare, 12(23), 2349. https://www.mdpi.com/2227-9032/12/23/2349
Kang, Y., Wu, J. E., Lo, C., & Chang, L. (2020). Effects of mindfulness on interoception and decision-making: A randomised controlled trial. arXiv preprint. https://arxiv.org/abs/2010.06078
Delosa, J. (2016). Unwritten: Reinvent Tomorrow. The Entourage.
Soulful Practices for the Third Space
These aren’t steps to fix you. They’re invitations to be with yourself more gently. Each one is a soft way to meet yourself where you are.
- Write the Middle
What it is:
A reflective journaling practice that invites you to acknowledge the liminal space between who you once were and who you are slowly becoming.
Why it matters:
After illness or any major life change, it’s common to feel disoriented—like you no longer fit into your old life, but aren’t quite ready to claim a new one. This practice honours that space without rushing it. It gives shape to the middle ground, helping you feel seen and safe within your own unfolding.
How to do it:
Open a journal and begin with the prompt: “I am no longer… but not yet…” Let the sentence finish itself. Try not to edit or analyse—just allow your words to emerge as they are. Over time, this can become a beautiful record of your becoming.
- Dual Tracking
What it is:
A practice that acknowledges both external actions and internal experiences—because both are valid markers of progress.
Why it matters:
We often measure progress by physical milestones—appointments, treatments, or tasks completed. But inner shifts like courage, grief, or hope deserve just as much recognition. This practice brings your emotional landscape into the story of healing, not just the medical facts.
How to do it:
At the end of your day, pause and name:
- One measurable action (e.g. “I went for a walk,” “I called a friend,” “I rested.”)
- One emotional truth (e.g. “I felt lonely but stayed with myself,” “I noticed hope,” “I cried, and it felt like release.”)
Both are real. Both matter.
- Sacred Stillness
What it is:
A simple daily ritual to help you drop into presence and reconnect with your inner rhythm.
Why it matters:
Stillness is where the noise settles and deeper truths rise. After long periods of uncertainty or decision-making, your nervous system craves quiet. Sacred stillness isn’t about “doing nothing”—it’s about creating intentional space for being.
How to do it:
Choose a word that feels nourishing: becoming, healing, breath, spaciousness. Light a candle or sit somewhere undisturbed. Whisper the word to yourself, then sit in silence for three minutes. Breathe. You don’t need to force insight. Just let the space hold you.
- Spiritual Inventory
What it is:
A gentle reflection to help you recognise and reconnect with the things that anchor you to meaning—however you define that.
Why it matters:
Spirituality isn’t always religious. For many, it’s a feeling of being part of something larger—through nature, art, music, ritual, or stillness. In times of identity loss or illness, remembering what connects you to the sacred can restore a sense of wholeness.
How to do it:
Ask yourself: “What makes me feel connected to something beyond myself?” Write down your answers—it might be walking in the forest, listening to music that moves you, praying, sitting near the ocean, or holding a beloved object. This is your spiritual inventory. Choose one item this week and spend time with it intentionally. Let it ground you.
- Unwritten Map
What it is:
A visual self-reflection tool that maps your transformation journey—not by timelines, but by felt experience.
Why it matters:
Healing isn’t linear. This exercise makes space for where you are, without pressure to be “done.” It invites self-compassion and self-recognition. Often, just seeing your emotional landscape on paper helps soften internal tension.
How to do it:
Draw three overlapping circles labelled:
- Before (Who I was)
- Middle (Where I am)
- Becoming (Who I’m growing into)
In the Middle circle, write five words that describe your current emotional or spiritual state. These can be contradictions—grateful, lost, tender, curious, cautious. There’s no wrong answer. Repeat this exercise whenever you feel the need to check in or witness your own progress.
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